You have well-meaning relatives, neighbors, friends. They want to bless you with stuff. It can be hard to say no. But if you’re decluttering, it can be so discouraging and overwhelming to keep having other people’s stuff dumped on you.
I’m sharing lots of different places where I’ve talked about this issue.
Blog Posts about How to Respond to Others when They Want to Give You Stuff:
Letting Go of Someone Else’s Memories
Breaking the Clutter-Guilt Cycle
Saying ‘No Thanks’ to Really Cool Stuff (a reader’s story)
Another Reader has the Conversation
Give it to Nony… she’ll take anything
From Our Mailbox: A Reader Stands Up Against “Guilt” Clutter
Podcasts about Clutter Guilt:
Avoiding Clutter Podcast (#043)
Videos to Help You Say No to Other People’s Clutter:
I had a LOT of fun making these example conversation videos: Declutter TV – Clutter Avoidance Conversations
If you feel like you have to let someone know you’re decluttering something they gave you, these might help: Declutter TV – Clutter Guilt Conversations
Live Q&A Videos in which I Answer Questions about How to Tell Them No:
When you click on the link, you’ll go straight to the timestamp in the video where I answer the question.
Dana K White’s Decluttering Q&A: 4.23.2024 – – “How would you manage being given stuff in a bag? Like, a bag of clothes and fabrics.”
Decluttering Q&A: 1.24.24 – – “I am a pastor’s wife. People love to give us ‘gifts.’ How do we graciously let people know we would rather not receive more inventory?”
Decluttering Q&A with Dana K White 4.4.23 – – “My elderly neighbor lady gives my kids every toy that has ever been created. How do I tell my sweet neighbor that enough is enough? It is really putting stain on my relationship with her.”
Decluttering Q&A: 2/12/2023 – – “My mom has toys she used for therapy with her patients. She wants me to have them and will be mad if I say no. She doesn’t want me to donate them, and she won’t donate them. what do I do?”
Live Q&A: 3.22.2023 – – “I need some helpful phrases I can whip out to say to my Mother-in-law. She comes into my house after a trip to the charity shop laden with gifts. I don’t want to be rude.”
Trying Again for Live Q&A – – “How would you let family know to not give things I don’t want or need for Christmas?”
Additional Resources:
Take Your House Back is a thorough online course I teach with Dawn from The Minimal Mom and Cas from Clutterbug. Thousands of people have truly transformed their homes going through this course. It is on SALE through January 17th! Learn more here.
My father in law always wanted to give things to someone he knew. Donating never appealed to him. So if he asked me if I wanted something I would say no but that I had a friend who would love it and could I take it to them. It helped him let go of an item which I would then donate.