I, along with many other chronically messy people, dream of having a maid.
Someone to do all that pesky cleaning that I never seem to get around to doing.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I must share . . . that I once had a maid. For the two years I lived in Thailand, I had a maid. The first year, when I lived alone, she came once a week. The second year, when I had roommates . . . that maid came twice a week.
Mmm-hmmm. And it was awesome.
And another confession that I should go ahead and make here and now is that if I ever make it as a writer, and have a real income from it . . . I’m gettin’ a maid. Even if I’m still writing about my own deslobification process. And I won’t feel one bit conflicted.
Because having a maid . . . doesn’t solve my slob-problem.
As evidenced by this:
That’s a picture from my Disney hotel room last week.
Clutter . . . is not a maid’s problem. That’s a full-time live-in professional organizer’s job. And I have no desire to have a professional organizer live in my house.
I’m pretty sure she would get on my nerves.
I’ll admit that last week it was nice to have the beds made (since we didn’t make them ourselves) and the towels hung up (since we didn’t hang them ourselves) and the new toilet paper roll actually put on the bar instead of balancing on top of the old roll.
But the room still looked like a slob lived there. Someone who isn’t me can’t make the judgement call about whether we still need the character greeting schedule that fell off the bed.
She can’t determine if we meant to come back to those half-drunk water bottles.
I’ve known, since having one of my own, that maids do not solve slob-problems. But sometimes the “if only” dream creeps back. This week was a good reality check.
The reality is that having a maid helps. A lot. It helps to have someone else take care of the weekly cleaning tasks and do the big jobs that are all-too-easy to put off.
But it’s the day to day stuff. The towel-hanging and the water-bottle-trashing.
Those are the things that determine the life of a slob.
Oh, how I would love a maid to do the nasty housework I hate (like scrubbing showers!). Although everyone I know that has one says you have to clean up before your maid can, well…clean up.
Seems like you’re right on the money about how it’s the day to day stuff! (And I’m doing fairly well on that the last week or two. Let’s see in a month or two how I’m doing!)
Awesome observations! I too dream of having a maid. (Don’t we all?) But the best part of your post was this line:
“and the new toilet paper roll actually put on the bar instead of balancing on top of the old roll.” Sooooo true!!! Why is it so hard for everyone but mom to do this. 🙂 I have even had training time to teach my kids how to change the roll, but nope, it never lasts. 🙂 Too funny. I hope you do make it as a writer someday. I really enjoy reading your posts.
lol, at our house it’s Mom who forgets (er, doesn’t bother) to do this! I’m always being surprised by discovering that the half-gone roll I was reaching to get from the back of the tank has suddenly appeared on the toilet paper roll holder in front of me instead. 🙂
My friend & I have this wonderful little world where we have a Cabana Boy, and a masseuse named, Sven and a maid named, Mimi. Of course, Sven & Cabana Boy are the eye candy…. Mimi is useless, as she is always sneaking off with Sven or Cabana Boy & never taking care of the chores…. so of course WE have to take care of that stuff…. Dang, Mimi!!! We’re thinking of hiring a chauffeur – Mimi is such a sleaze that we’re hoping she’ll go after him and leave our eye candy alone….. Any suggestions on color for our convertible? Limo…. hmmmm, maybe we should have a limo…..
And yes…. having a maid would be wonderful… I’ve never had one & I’m thinking I would have to clean before she got here. Welcome back from your trip BTW…. It sounds like you had a wonderful time.
Well, I finally bit the bullet and got a maid. Seeing as I work 60 hour weeks, on a good week… Still hasn’t helped my slobbish-ness completely, but surprise, surprise, me actually doing something – picking up after myself or decluttering is helping. Maybe I’ll be de-slobbified some day, too… Then I’m sure my maid won’t be afraid to come over to clean!
Hahahaha – I know what you mean. When our second daughter was born my siblings gave us 3 months of maid service as a baby gift. I have never worked so hard cleaning! I could not stand the thought of someone, event the maid, finding dirt, etc. Twice a week before she got there our house would be spotless and glowing and I would be exhausted!!!
She may have become the highest paid “baby rocker” in the city
LOL
I’ve had the same two “cleaning ladies/maids” come clean my home for almost two years now, they come every two weeks. It’s just me and my husband living here with fantastic drop-in visits from our family and grandkids. Physical disabilities necessitate the HELP. We’re still somewhat messy though and every two weeks on Sunday afternoon we have to go around the house picking up the clutter so that the ladies can clean, otherwise, like the hotel maids from your Disney vacation, they’ll just move the clutter around a little. Still, it’s wonderful to know that the house is CLEAN, the bathrooms are CLEAN, the sheets are CLEAN, the floors are CLEAN, they even maintain the baseboards, ceiling fans & walls. I’ve been married for almost forty years, our anniversary is next month, and I remember well, the majority of the housecleaning was my responsibility, and I’m so thankful that I had the ability to accomplish what needed to be done. I remember all those years when I was so tired from working outside the home, to having infants and small children, to having a home daycare, to having a house-full of teenagers; it’s all good! I feel so blessed that God gave me a husband, children and a home, and now grandchildren. We even shared our home with my mother-in-love for one year and then with my mother for ten years! Keep up the amazing work you do as wifes and mothers, it’s an important one.
My sis lives in Capetown, South Africa with her family (4 kids). She has 3 maids and I think one of them is just for laundry. She loves it! I think it will be adjustment for her when she comes back eventually. It would be for me! I do day dream alllll the time about a maid.
My parents have a maid come by once a week, and we always had to pick up before she came. I didn’t understand as a kid, but I understand now. Of course it isn’t her job to pick up all my books, organize my papers, put my dirty clothes in the hamper, etc. It is her job to vacuum, dust, clean mirrors, etc. Duh, silly teenage girl, how is that difficult to understand?
“the new toilet paper roll actually put on the bar instead of balancing on top of the old roll. ”
OMG I thought we were the only family that were lazy enough to do the roll balance! I’m so glad we aren’t the only ones.
I know it was 2 years ago, but… where did you stay at Disney World? And, did you like it? We’re headed there in a couple of months and need to get something nailed down. 🙂
We stayed at Port Orleans Riverside. It’s the only moderate resort where you can stay with five in the family. There’s a trundle bed for a child under 9. We did like it a lot. I think we’ll stay there again when we go next time.
I thought about a spring cleaning maid they offered with a groupon deal, but figured I would have to do so much work to get the areas ready for her. I decided I will clean each large item I wad going to pay for, like windows and baseboards and put the money into savings, like paying myself for it.
We’ll see how well I do and if i would rehire myself!
My mom used to call her washing machine and dishwasher her “maids”. She’d put them to work and say it felt good to know they were working while she did something else.
We recently got a cleaning service, and you’re absolutely right. We’re still slobs. But at least now we’re forced to de-slobify every two weeks instead of every 6 months. It makes life so much easier!
We use to have 1 Nanny and 1 Maid as I worked a 60 hour week and we had 3 kids in 3 years 3 months. It is lovely to have a clean and neat house, kids bathed and laundry done, I only had to worry about the supper. Things change over time and we now have only 1 maid/nanny. The kids are in pre-school but 2 different schools as our eldest is special needs. The current Maid does the laundry and Kitchen and also cleans but I still need to declutter frequently and my home-office is the dumping ground for everything that she doesn’t know the place of. I work from home about 2 hours a day and the rest of the time from the office. Plenty of time to plonk everything into my office. Hubby recently converted part of the basement into a sewing/craft room for me where no child is allowed so that I have a spot to keep paint/glue/sharp things without little hands getting into it. None of the kids can say an “R” so Mummy’s Room is now Mummy’s Womb. I painted it pink and I love my own space although Hubby now tends to put all kinds of clutter in my space. He is now working on his own Man Cave next door. The kids have a basement playroom under their bedroom with a trapdoor from their room and they love it, I also love it as it helps to keep most of the toys at bay. I have also made a huge lego bag. It is 1.5m in diameter and it is basically a big canvas circle with metal eyelets and a rope through. It goes flat on the floor, they play on it and once done you only have to gather the rope. Made my job so much easier keeping track of all the thousands of pieces